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Bachelor in Paradise Recap: Clare Suffers Through Tantric Yoga With Mikey

Bachelor in Paradise
Couples start pairing off in paradise.

Is there trouble in paradise already? It seemed that even though the starting lineup had just arrived, tensions were already brewing amongst the women as several of them circled Jared — and that was just the beginning.

As annoyed as Tenley was that Ashley I. showed up with her sister Lauren in tow, Tenley was over-the-moon when Clare arrived at the beach. Despite the warm welcome from Tenley, however, Clare still clearly felt like an outsider since she came into the game a bit later than the others (a fact that was highlighted by a conversation she had with a crab).

Related: PHOTOS: Biggest Bachelor and Bachelorette Villains

Though Clare initially seemed interested in Jared, she was uncertain of what to do with her date card in light of the fact that he seemed to be claimed already (at least, sort of). Fortunately, Mikey was on hand to help her decide and asked her to go for a walk.

"I'm typically not attracted to big beef-hards like Mikey and I wouldn't pick a guy like Mikey to go on a date with," Clare readily admitted. But Mikey was persistent, if nothing else, and told her point-blank he would love to go on a date with her. She sighed and said, "I would love to go on a date with you." Hmm. She seemed less than enthused but Mikey wasn't remotely put off. "I've always had a schoolboy crush on you," he mused with a smile.

Clare and Mikey Try Tantric Yoga, Have Zero Chemistry 

As is par for the course on Bachelor in Paradise, Mikey and Clare spent their first date learning tantric yoga. "Tantric yoga on a first date? I don't know if that's what I'm looking to do," Clare said to the camera. Mikey, however, gave the activity great reviews.

"It was a turn on. It was steamy. I felt everything. Everything feels good on Clare. Everything," he cooed. "My favorite position was Downward Clare. Hopefully one day I'll get to experience that firsthand."

Related: PHOTOS: Bachelorette Bikini Bods

Later on, Mikey tried to kiss Clare — and she refused. "I really am coming in here open to the show and stuff like that but I really don't want it to be more than what it is right now for me," she reasoned. In other words, Mikey's probably not ever going to experience Downward Clare. Despite her pretty blatant rejection, however, Mikey put a positive spin on things and seemed committed to the course.

Things Heat Up Between Ashley S. and Dan

Meanwhile, upon returning from the ER, Ashley S. and Dan let their romance blossom. "We had a really cute date in the hospital!" Ashley S. laughed. She received a date card, which she predictably gave to Dan, and the two shared a romantic candlelit dinner during which she praised his sense of humor and said he made her feel comfortable. 

It seemed the feeling was mutual. "I get her, so it's good. If I had a rose tonight, right now, I'd give it to Ashley, no question," Dan said. 

"I don't know if he makes me feel like a woman or a child, but I like it!" she laughed. These two are a match made in ER heaven — for now, at least.

Tenley, Party of One

Though Clare was last to the arrive, it turned out to be Tenley who felt like the odd man out. Lamenting that everyone else already seemed to be paired off, Tenley confided in Mikey that she felt like a "crazy cougar lady" for liking Jared. Mikey assured her she was not, bolstering the 31-year-old Bachelor vet to boldly nab Jared for a walk on the beach. Naturally, this caused Ashley I. to burst into tears. Again. 

"F— me. I'm going to die alone," she declared before making a plan to get drunk and go get Jared. (Seriously, what could go wrong?) She did manage to yank Jared away from Tenley — but she didn't exactly get the assurance from him she was seeking.

Related: PHOTOS: Bachelorette Relationship Updates

"I feel like I've been so awkward," she confessed. "You're so freaking cute. I clam up immediately." Jared offered up that they definitely had a good date, to which she confessed that she was "worried about other girls stealing" him away. Jared replied by telling her that you never know what's going to happen. (In other words, her fear wasn't unfounded.) Unlike Mikey, Ashley I. processed this subtle pushback. 

"He basically told me that he's open to anyone here," she said to the camera. "Awkward!"

Cocktails and Roses for Everyone — Well, Except One Person

By the time the first cocktail party rolled around, most people had paired off (for the time being, anyway): Tanner and Jade, Kirk and Carly, Dan and Ashley S., Jonathan and Juelia, Jared and Ashley I. (who comes with Lauren as a bonus prize), and Mikey and Clare. This meant the only rose really up for grabs belonged to pink-pants-loving JJ — a fact of which Jillian, Tenley and JJ were hyper-aware. (For the record, no one was more thrilled about this reality than JJ himself.)

Jillian began laying the groundwork early for a pairing. "I like spending more time with you than I do any person here," she cooed in his ear before adding, "That's the truth!" JJ didn't say much in response, but obviously appreciated her efforts to woo him. For her part, Jillian made it clear that she was confident he would keep her in the game.

Tenley wasn't giving up without a fight, though, and at the ninth hour, she brought out the big guns, giving JJ a passionate kiss. Though it seemed to come out of nowhere (besides a desire to stay on the show), Tenley insisted her feelings were genuine.

"I know that it is possible to find love in paradise and the JJ that's underneath there is sweet and he's adorable," she said before admitting the move was somewhat out of character. "I don't know who that girl is, but I want to try her out more often."

Related: PHOTOS: Bachelor's Top 16 Biggest Splits

In another plot twist, Jared snuck off with Clare and promised that if she didn't have a rose by the time his name was called, he would give his flower to her. He didn't have to, however, as Mikey happily offered up his rose to Clare. The rest of the couples paired off as expected — until it got to JJ and he gave his rose to Tenley. This meant that Jillian — and her brand new breasts — were going home.

"I would love to be in love," she lamented on her car ride to the airport.

If it's any consolation, it seems unlikely that Tenley and JJ are headed for the altar. Then again, stranger things have happened in paradise!

Tell Us: Do you think Jillian should have gone home?

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